How to Stop being an over-communicator

Over-contacting is over communicating

Does this sound like you? You send a text to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Wait for 20 minutes, 30 minutes even an hour. You glance at your phone a couple of times and decide to wait patiently. A couple of texts later pop in but none from your specific person. Your babe has not yet replied to your text. Thereafter, you decide to fire another text and confirm it’s been received. As you diligently wait, anxiety kicks, in and you worry, speculate and become suspicious, “what could be happening” that’s anxiety talking. To begin with, how can you stop being an over-communicator

Obvious signs…

What is really happening is that you are over contacting your specific person. Stop. They have seen your text messages and will respond possibly at their own time and convenience. Create space for people to walk towards you, without you having to probe them. Stop trying to perk at the door. When you over contact you are trying to get something, besides, people can feel that vibe. Allow people to approach you. When you don’t create space for people to walk to you, they become lazy. They dont have to walk to you because they get used to you doing all the work. Over communicating people comes from a place of lack of self love. You need to feel you are worth a response and refrain from probing in the name of “reminding them”.

Over-contacting comes from an unloving place

Over contacting pushes people away, furthermore, it doesn’t come from a loving place. It comes from a place of “I need to matter” at the same time, the need to get attention. It’s also considered as an obsession/addiction. The feeling that you need something from someone to feel better. It is a sign you are trying to get love, attention, you want to be made a priority as a result of making them a priority. It is a self-unloving thing to do because you are doing too much and they do so little, you feel “I need to be loved to feel better” Do your own internal work and feel secure, loved, wanted and a priority and that you matter to become that on the outside and allow people to reach you.

What can you do if you feel the need to over contact?

How can you stop being an over-communicator?. Every time you feel the need to over contact, sit, allow yourself to experience the feeling, the need and write down what’s going on. Journal your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and assumptions. Realize that emotionally you have a need, work on that, when you write down you refrain from over-contacting people. Sit with your own self love and give it to you, hold it to you. Stop over contacting your lover and allow him to come to you and approach you. Otherwise, you would let them go for a day or even 2 days without communicating without them contacting you and you would be fine. You would get on with your life without anxiety and worry.

In the meantime, let go of the outcome and the need to control people and focus on yourself. People start taking you for granted when you don’t treat yourself with respect and over contacting is a lack of self-respect.