Why did your ex break up with you?

There are couple of things you need to figure out. First, are you dating someone new? Second, how has the new relationship been fairing? Finally would you consider dropping your new boyfriend and reconcile with your ex? Considering getting back with you ex. If you do decide to get back with your ex, at the initial meeting you have to mutually solve the issues that led to the break-up. Wait for your ex to bring up the issues that contributed to the split. It is important that your ex take accountability for is actions that led to the break up and you also have to identify your role in the breakup.

Blaming your ex for everything!

Consequently, now is not the time to blame everything that went wrong in the relationship on your ex. I know you have in your mind what he did wrong and how much he hurt you. Did he cheat, abuse you, was he irresponsible, critical of you, an alcoholic or workaholic, needy, selfish? How long did it take you to realize that your needs and wants were not met and you felt neglected?

How is the initial interaction going with your ex?

As you mind goes through these thoughts and memories realize that if you do decide to go back. It’s important to address the issues and understand that people change out of their own will. Appreciate that people change and be the kind of people you need for themselves not because you want them. What about you?. What did you do that led to the break-up?. Look within yourself and take accountability for your actions Don’t blame everything on your ex? If you do decide to work on the relationship then read on.

Don’ts

Are you complacent?, Keeping your relationship active requires mutual efforts. Maintaining connection means staying in love, when your stop putting efforts, things go South. Relationships are like cars, they need to be taken care of and maintained.

Dull

Boredom! Don’t be boring in bed, have fun activities together, allowing your relationship fall into a rut doing the same predictable pattern, the same routine over and over. Be spontaneous, mix up your routines, be fun to hang around with, surprise your partner from time to time with activities like weekend gateways. Ever considered having sex in a hotel? Try out hotels, picnic and randomly grabbing dinner together after work.

How is your sex life?

Don’t let your bedroom become monotonous, have open conversations about sex, make it more interesting and invest in sexy lingerie.

More Don’ts

Lost yourself!

Don’t give up your old hobbies, friendships, you still need to have your own life. Additionally, it will help prevent your relationship from becoming stagnant. When you both have interesting lives as individuals then you will bring more into the relationship.

Unattractive habits

Being needy, clingy, over protective or jealous!. You must give your partner space, trust and freedom, control your emotions, use logic and reasoning to overpower your own insecurities.

Don’t become overly dependent on your partner, for example behaviors like constantly seeking approval should be avoided. Don’t ask questions like “Don’t you love me any more?” Avoid whining and nagging when they don’t text regularly.

Controlling?

Avoid analysing your partner’s actions.  These behaviours step from low self-esteem and abandonment. Build self-confidence and learn to trust your partner. Have a life out of the relationship, give your partner space. Own up to your behavior and explain what is going on to your boyfriend.