From The Psychologist’s Desk: He’s out to get me!

He’s out to get me!

I am a distributor of pharmaceutical supplies, get along with everyone at work. I only have one problem which is a constant headache: My supervisor. He’s always out to get me. I make my rounds without losing time, but when I return he looks at his watch and says sarcastically “Traffic…. eh? or have you gone slowly in order to avoid an accident?” These types of insinuations are constant. I am ready to complain to the director and if things dont change, I will leave. What else can i do?

 Answer

Ensure there is no irregularity

Without doubt, your company will have a complaints procedure which should protect you from the abuse of power being exhibited by your boss. However, before taking this step, I would recommend that you try another technique which might produce more lasting changes:

In the first place, make sure you are doing a good job. Let your performance not give the boss something to penalize you about or find faults in you. Perhaps there is something you are not doing well but you are unaware of it. It is important that, for your part, there is no irregularity. This will give you the certainty that the fault is not yours and that as far as you are concerned, you are doing your best.

Reaction to your boss’s provocations

In the second place, try in every way not to react negatively to your boss’s provocations. Don’t argue with him, shout or become defensive, don’t start sharing with other colleagues about him and play the victim card. Listen to what he has to say and with all calmness possible explain your point of view. This will not be easy but it is doable. Finally, prepare yourself for these encounters by avoiding thought processes which lead to feelings of hatred towards your boss(Cognitive Techniques to be shared in another article).

Do something kind

Finally do something kind for your boss. Invite him out for lunch, chat with him, find out how he is, say concern to him, greet him, show interest in his problems and listen to his complaints.

Some will think that this makes no sense. But research in human behaviour shows that in the face of unexpected events, unexpected reactions may occur. Remember, the final objective of this attitude is not to humble the boss but to help him to have a more positive view of reality.

Positive results

Be aware that this technique will only show positive results if it is applied with a large dose of humility. Be willing to learn too incase boss points out some areas of improvement. Understand that your performance from time to time will be reviewed and take the observations made by your boss positively.

One of the most difficult tasks for human being is shedding of personal pride. So remember, we must overcome our personal pride, something which to a lesser or greater extent, we all have, if we want to enjoy peace with ourselves and with others. A lot can work in your favour with the understanding that your boss is not attacking your personality.