From The Psychologist’s Desk: He’s out to get me!

He’s out to get me!

I am a distributor of pharmaceutical supplies, get along with everyone at work. I only have one problem which is a constant headache: My supervisor. He’s always out to get me. I make my rounds without losing time, but when I return he looks at his watch and says sarcastically “Traffic…. eh? or have you gone slowly in order to avoid an accident?” These types of insinuations are constant. I am ready to complain to the director and if things dont change, I will leave. What else can i do?

This person is facing a subtle yet persistent form of workplace harassment — one that can easily wear down their motivation and mental health. Here’s a clear, constructive breakdown of how to help this person:

---

First, Help Them Recognize What’s Happening

What they’re experiencing may fall under “hostile work environment” or “psychological microaggressions.” It’s not blatant abuse — but the sarcastic remarks and constant undermining are passive-aggressive and targeted.

Validate their experience:

• “You’re not imagining this — sarcasm and consistent jabs like that are a form of emotional pressure. It’s okay to feel frustrated.”

---

Step 1: Understand the Supervisor’s Pattern

Supervisors like this often:

• Use sarcasm as a weapon to maintain power

• Mask control under the guise of “humor” or “just doing their job”

• Target competent employees out of insecurity or need for dominance

---

Step 2: Begin Documenting the Incidents

Encourage them to:

• Keep a written log (time, date, exact words said, witnesses)

• Avoid reacting emotionally in the moment — stay calm and neutral

• Write down how each incident made them feel (anxiety, humiliation, stress)

This log will be crucial if they escalate the issue.

---

Step 3: Consider a Calm, Assertive Conversation

Before going to the director, they can try a direct but respectful conversation. Something like:

“I’ve noticed some of your remarks lately — like the ones about traffic — and I want to be honest: they make me feel like my commitment is being questioned, even when I’m doing my job well. Is there anything you’d like me to improve or clarify?”

This puts the supervisor on notice without aggression and invites clarity. Some supervisors become more cautious when they realize their behavior is being noticed and named.

---

Step 4: Escalate Professionally (If Needed)

If the conversation doesn’t work, it’s fair to:

• Take the log of incidents to HR or the director

• Be professional, not emotional: Present facts, patterns, and impact

• Emphasize desire for a respectful working relationship, not revenge

If things still don’t improve, planning an exit strategy is wise. No job is worth your mental health.

---

Bonus Support: What You Can Say to Them

You could offer them this message:

“You’ve worked hard to build a good rapport at your job. If one person is undermining that, especially someone in power, it’s not a reflection of your worth — it’s a flaw in leadership. Protect your peace, document everything, and speak up with professionalism. You deserve a respectful workplace.”to

Answer

Ensure there is no irregularity

Without doubt, your company will have a complaints procedure which should protect you from the abuse of power being exhibited by your boss. However, before taking this step, I would recommend that you try another technique which might produce more lasting changes:

In the first place, make sure you are doing a good job. Let your performance not give the boss something to penalize you about or find faults in you. Perhaps there is something you are not doing well but you are unaware of it. It is important that, for your part, there is no irregularity. This will give you the certainty that the fault is not yours and that as far as you are concerned, you are doing your best.

Reaction to your boss’s provocations

In the second place, try in every way not to react negatively to your boss’s provocations. Don’t argue with him, shout or become defensive, don’t start sharing with other colleagues about him and play the victim card. Listen to what he has to say and with all calmness possible explain your point of view. This will not be easy but it is doable. Finally, prepare yourself for these encounters by avoiding thought processes which lead to feelings of hatred towards your boss(Cognitive Techniques to be shared in another article).

Do something kind

Finally do something kind for your boss. Invite him out for lunch, chat with him, find out how he is, say concern to him, greet him, show interest in his problems and listen to his complaints.

Some will think that this makes no sense. But research in human behaviour shows that in the face of unexpected events, unexpected reactions may occur. Remember, the final objective of this attitude is not to humble the boss but to help him to have a more positive view of reality.

Positive results

Be aware that this technique will only show positive results if it is applied with a large dose of humility. Be willing to learn too incase boss points out some areas of improvement. Understand that your performance from time to time will be reviewed and take the observations made by your boss positively.

One of the most difficult tasks for human being is shedding of personal pride. So remember, we must overcome our personal pride, something which to a lesser or greater extent, we all have, if we want to enjoy peace with ourselves and with others. A lot can work in your favour with the understanding that your boss is not attacking your personality.