Addiction to relationships is a real thing!

Are you addicted to relationships?

Women are more prone to this dependence due to the way parent’s conditioned them. We know of the condition “you need a man”.  How can you tell you are aaddicted to having a man? Addiction to relationships is a real thing! I am sure we all know at least one girlfriend who is constantly complaining of heartbreaks from one guy to the next. The labels places is he/she is a ‘serial dater’.  She is always in a relationship and doesn’t take time after a break up. I know all too well how many Mr. wrongs are out there, and only the lucky few find true love at the first try. But shouldn’t a whole list of them ring warning bells in one’s mind?

Series of Relationships

There was Peter who didn’t appreciate you and it ended in him humiliating you. Then shortly after came John who took advantage of your weak moment. Ok, let’s be lenient and assume he was a rebound, a girl can rebound. Hmmh! but what about Brian and Mike who came very shortly after John, were they rebounds too?. We seem to have a culture in which women think they can only be happy if they are in relationships. People feel they can only be happy if a man makes them feel better. They don’t take time to evaluate if the guy warming up to them is even worth their time.

Situationship

A month into the ‘relationship’ they realize it was nothing but a ‘situationship’. What’s worse, this happens repeatedly. Please realize that this can be a pattern and you need to break the pattern. Do you love yourself?. Did you learn to love yourself as you are?. Let’s reflect on our childhood, were you loved by your parents, did you witness love in your home as a child?. Were your parents loving and affectionate of each other?. These questions will help you understand whether you are seeking romantic partners to meet an unconscious need. We unconsciously seek the same dynamics we had as children, the same attachments. The same same version of love we were modeled as children.

Ticking biological clock

Society states that 30 is the big Three!. when a woman’s biological clock starts ticking louder than in her 20s. Consequently, there is some pressure on her to marry, settle down, have a baby or two. Live life based on your own standards and not standards set by society. It doesn’t help that the parents keep asking “When are you bringing someone home?”. I am not advocating that being single is the way to go, but why peg happiness on titles such as “girlfriend and wife”. When being that has brought you everything but happiness? Live your life for yourself not what everyone else expects you to be at this age, at this time etc.

Perfect Guy

We all grew up dreaming of having the perfect life, the perfect job, the perfect home and the perfect guy to have the perfect family with. Yes, these dreams are all possible, but meanwhile, our approach towards attaining them can be very worrying. Your friends may all be in relationships and they post pictures of themselves all over social media with captions but is that reason enough to keep accepting any Tom, Dick and Harry coming your way? Take time to get to know a guy before letting him into your life. Enjoy your life, your singlehood. You will be surprised how the heartbreaks lessen and how true love is not as elusive as it seems.