4 Tips To Get your Ex back for good

Control is toxic!

First of all, you don’t get a ’stubborn’ ex back. Its as simple as that. Why do you desire to have this specific person who doesn’t want you?. It is difficult enough to control yourself, let alone others and fundamentally, control is toxic. The first tip to get your ex back for good is to go with the flow.

Although never forgo honest, vulnerable and respectful communication. In addition, remember what made you break up. Time may have moved and you may feel now is the time to try to get back your ex. However you need to think this through before you embark on this “dicey” move. Above all, have realistic expectations about your ex, be ready for possibilities that they may have moved on, met someone else or even got married. If you do decide to get them back, you need to respect them at whatever position you find them in their life.

Here is some food for thought!

Many spend their lives looking for love in others, but do not realise that the love we experience from others, is a merely a reflection of the love we have for ourselves. Moving to a different country opens the possibility of meeting other people, nevertheless you are still you in a different location. If we do not love ourselves. We never really believe the love expressed by others for us is genuine or meaningful. As deep down, we don’t think we are worth or deserve love. This is not true, you need to understand that you are worthy of love just as you are, believe it is possible.

Betraying ourselves

Past experiences of rejection, hurt and abandonment may have contributed to this feeling of inadequacy. Childhood experiences in which we were not loved by our parent’s/care givers as we are. Parents who were emotionally unavailable and whom we had to betray ourselves to receive their love may contribute to feelings of worthlessness.

The Right Person

More tips to get your ex back. Stop looking for and trying to control “the right person”, because the right person is only a reflection you. If we think about it, what we recognize love and dislike in them, are some of the things we love and dislike about ourselves. Consequently, we also struggle to accept them for who they are because we also struggle to accept some things about ourselves. Psychologists use the expressions, transference and projection when talking about sub-conscious processes.

So instead of looking for the right person, become more of the right person yourself that is how you find love. How can you be able to do that? Radiate the love you seek in others. Self-love is essential, love you as you are flaws and all, God loves you and will always love you.

Control you

Next, what you can do about your ex? first is to control yourself. Love yourself. Specifically, focus on your self-esteem, similarly, build it by being more compassionate, kind and generous. Be more in touch with your own feelings, and the feelings of others. How do you feel about your ex?. What specific issues contributed to the break up? How do you feel about these things? Reflect!. Practice empathy, playfulness and joy and you will be happy, and find love…and maybe even your ex again….