5 effective strategies for coping with childhood trauma

Understanding Childhood Trauma and Life Trauma

What They Are, How They Affect You, and How to Begin Healing

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Trauma isn’t just about what happens to you—it’s about how your mind, body, and spirit respond when you feel unsafe, overwhelmed, or powerless. For many people, trauma doesn’t come from one obvious event. It may come from years of neglect, emotional instability, or experiences that left invisible scars.

In this guide, we’ll break down the difference between childhood trauma and life trauma, how they affect your mental and emotional health, and how to begin healing.

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What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma refers to distressing, harmful, or overwhelming experiences that happen during the early stages of life—typically before age 18. These experiences can deeply shape a child’s brain, emotional development, identity, and relationships.

Examples of Childhood Trauma

• Physical abuse or sexual abuse

• Emotional abuse- being yelled at, belittled, manipulated, or constantly criticized

• Neglect- not having your emotional or physical needs met (food, affection, safety)

• Witnessing domestic violence

• Parental mental illness or substance abuse

• Abandonment or loss of a parent through death, divorce, or incarceration

• Growing up in chaotic or unsafe environments

Even when basic needs like food or shelter were met, emotional neglect—like not being hugged, comforted, or truly seen—can still be traumatic.

💬 “Trauma isn’t always about what happened to you. It’s also about what you needed but didn’t receive.”

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Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma

• Anxiety, depression, or chronic self-doubt

• Struggles with trust, relationships, or emotional intimacy

• People-pleasing, perfectionism, or fear of rejection

• Feeling “not good enough” or “too much”

• Difficulty regulating emotions (e.g., rage, shame, or numbness)

Childhood trauma can even change how your nervous system responds to the world, making you more prone to hypervigilance (always feeling on edge) or dissociation (shutting down or feeling numb).

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What Is Life Trauma (Also Called Adult Trauma)?

Life trauma refers to emotionally painful or shocking experiences that occur later in life, often when you are an adult or young adult. These events may be sudden or prolonged, and they can deeply affect your ability to feel safe, stable, or in control.

Examples of Life Trauma

• Loss of a loved one

• Divorce or breakup

• Job loss or financial collapse

• Accidents, injuries, or serious illnesses

• Sexual assault or physical attack

• Natural disasters (e.g., floods, earthquakes)

• Experiencing war, violence, or displacement

• Abandonment or betrayal by someone you trusted

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Effects of Life Trauma

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

• Fear of vulnerability or change

• Sleep problems, nightmares, or flashbacks

• Panic attacks, anxiety, or depressive episodes

• Feeling stuck in survival mode

• Emotional disconnection or withdrawal from others

Some people experience complex trauma (C-PTSD) when multiple traumas happen over time—especially those rooted in relationships and trust.

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The Overlap Between Childhood and Life Trauma

Many adults who go through life trauma find their childhood wounds resurface:

• A breakup may trigger feelings of abandonment from a parent.

• Job loss might awaken long-held beliefs of not being “good enough.”

• Being hurt by a friend may re-ignite unresolved trust issues.

This is why healing often means going deeper than just the recent incident. It means asking:

🧠 “Why does this hurt so much—and what old pain is it touching?”

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How to Begin Healing from Trauma

1. Acknowledge Your Story
   Recognizing that something was traumatic for you—whether others saw it that way or not—is the first act of self-validation.

2. Seek Safe Spaces
   Healing thrives in spaces where you feel seen, heard, and believed. This might include therapy, support groups, or compassionate communities.

3. Work with a Trauma-Informed Professional
   Therapists trained in EMDR, somatic therapy, inner child work, or CBT can help you unpack and heal trauma safely.

4. Reconnect With Your Body
   Trauma often disconnects us from our bodies. Mindful practices like breathwork, yoga, walking, or creative expression help you feel grounded again.

5. Challenge Shame
   You didn’t cause your trauma. You adapted the best way you knew how. Healing means reclaiming your worth from the hands of those who damaged it.

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Both childhood and life trauma can impact how you see yourself, others, and the world. But trauma is not the end of your story. Healing is possible, and with the right support, you can move from survival to safety—and from pain to purpose.

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Need a Safe Space to Begin?

At MyOnlineRelationshipTherapy.com, we help individuals:

• Explore and heal childhood wounds

• Process traumatic life experiences

• Rebuild self-worth and emotional resilience

• Strengthen their relationships after trauma

Reach out today to begin your healing journey with support, understanding, and tools that truly work.

5 effective strategies for coping with childhood trauma

Our former relationships with parents/caregivers create the basis of our adult relationships. If we were born in an environment of:

• Chaos
• Impulsive behavior
• Devoid of emotional connection
• Lack of clear boundaries
• Unhealthy coping mechanisms
• Abandonment
• Self betrayal to receive love

Repeating childhood dynamics in adulthood

These negative experiences form the foundation for which we view life as adults. In addition we develop feelings of self-worthlessness. Self betrayal patterns which we began as children in order to receive love and validation from a parent whom we had a conflicted relationship with continues with romantic partners. Then we find ourselves repeating the same dynamics in adulthood we experienced in childhood to make things right. 5 effective strategies for coping with childhood trauma.

How can you be able to move from self-defeating patterns

Rejecting negative feelings and substituting them with alternative positive choices constitute a healthy way to obtain a positive rational lifestyle. Above all, pessimistic thoughts tend to take over automatically and without following any logical pattern. Therefore, positive thinking must be a continuing and permanent style of mental activity.

Positive thoughts about oneself

Avoid building your self-concept based on what you were told by your parents or basing it on social media and celebrities. People including parents do what they do, the way they do it based on who they are and the information they have at the time. It was how they knew how to raise children, their love was conditional, we have to forgive them. Now as an adult, can we be able to identify who we are now? Have we done inner work?  Accepted our weaknesses and did something to improve them. Pay keen attention to your thoughts and reject self-deprecating views of yourself.

Positive thoughts about the past

The past cannot be altered, accept it even though it may contain unpleasant experiences. Furthermore, it is now in the past and it cannot be changed. Avoiding feeling guilty over the past for your present problems. This will not help you as those choices were based on what you had learnt, how you perceived yourself, who you were and what you believed. As for as past positive experiences, remember them and enjoy them. A growing mindset going through challenges sees them as opportunities. This will greatly help improve your attitude.

Positive thinking about the future

Your attitude today affects tomorrow’s events. Consequently, thinking with confidence and hope about tomorrow will increase the probability of a much more successful future. If there is something negative bound to happened, make plans to prevent it instead of becoming anxious about it. Anxiety is a negative feeling and you have a right to reject it.

Positive thoughts about people and environment

We are permanently surrounded by dangers and risks and it is natural to always feel anxious and fearful. Nevertheless, there are still beautiful things and pleasant experiences in life, if we focus on them, we will see them. Do not grow mistrustful of other people. Have confidence in them and respect them and strive to feel affection towards them. Be emphatic towards others as they also face their own difficulties. Help them and you will notice how your attitude will become better.