3 tips to overcoming emotional abuse: how to recognize signs of emotional abuse

What Is Emotional Abuse? Understanding the Invisible Wounds

Emotional abuse is a form of psychological manipulation or control where one person seeks to dominate another by undermining their sense of self-worth, independence, or emotional safety. Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse doesn’t leave visible bruises — but it can be just as damaging, if not more so, because its effects are deep, lingering, and often harder to name.

Many people live through emotional abuse for years without recognizing it because it can be subtle, normalized in certain cultures or relationships, or hidden beneath layers of charm, silence, or sarcasm.

---

Examples of Emotional Abuse

Here are some clear signs and examples of emotional abuse:

1. Constant Criticism

“You’re so useless. I don’t know how anyone puts up with you.”
“Why can’t you do anything right?”

This isn’t constructive feedback — it’s demeaning attacks meant to erode self-esteem. When repeated over time, the victim starts to internalize the message and believe they are truly worthless or inadequate.

---

2. Gaslighting

“That never happened. You’re imagining things.”
“You’re just being too sensitive.”

Gaslighting is a powerful and dangerous form of emotional abuse. The abuser manipulates the victim into doubting their own memory, perception, or sanity, which can make them feel confused, disoriented, and helpless.

---

3. Isolation

“You don’t need anyone else but me.”
“Your friends are a bad influence. Stop seeing them.”

By cutting off the victim from friends, family, or support networks, the abuser increases control and reduces the chances of the victim seeking help or clarity.

---

4. Silent Treatment and Withholding Affection

Days of ignoring a partner without explanation.
Refusing to say “I love you” or give affection as punishment.

This form of manipulation creates anxiety and confusion. It turns love into a reward system, where the victim feels they must behave a certain way to be “worthy” of connection.

---

5. Control Through Jealousy or Possessiveness

“Where were you? Who were you with? Why didn’t you answer my call in two minutes?”

While jealousy may be seen as a sign of passion, in abuse, it’s used to monitor, accuse, and control. The abuser may disguise it as love, but it’s rooted in fear, insecurity, and domination.

---

Emotional Abuse and Mental Health

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, emotional abuse can be more difficult to identify than physical abuse, but it leaves lasting scars. Victims often suffer from:

• Anxiety and panic attacks

• Depression

• Low self-esteem

• Trust issues

• PTSD-like symptoms

• Difficulty forming healthy relationships later in life

Children who grow up in emotionally abusive homes may carry these wounds into adulthood, often becoming either overly passive or overly reactive in their relationships.

---

Why People Stay in Emotionally Abusive Relationships

There are many reasons:

• They don’t recognize it as abuse, especially if it’s been normalized since childhood.

• The abuser alternates cruelty with affection, creating trauma bonds.

• Victims may fear being alone, judged, or financially unstable if they leave.

• Some feel they can “fix” the other person or that they deserve the treatment.

It’s important to understand: emotional abuse is never the victim’s fault.

---

Therapeutic Insights: Abuse Without Bruises Is Still Abuse

Emotional abuse may not involve raised voices or broken bones, but it can shatter confidence, distort reality, and steal years of peace from someone’s life.

The first step toward healing is awareness. If you recognize these patterns in your relationship or someone else’s, know that help is available — and that no one deserves to live in emotional pain.

---

Need support or clarity?
Visit MyOnlineRelationshipTherapy.com for confidential help, articles, and emotional healing resources. You’re not alone, and healing is possible.

Some of us have been in relationships where signs of emotional abuse are prevalent

Subtle unhealthy signs of emotional abuse

Some of us have been in relationships where signs of emotional abuse are prevalent. On the other hand, because they are subtle and don’t involve physical hurt and verbal we assume they are normal. We compare ourselves with people going through physical abuse and console ourselves that our situation is not so bad. On the contrary, emotional abuse has psychological effects which deprives you of respect as a human being. 3 tips to overcoming emotional abuse: how to recognize signs of emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse is all about power and control

Emotional Abuse includes non physical behaviour whose aim is to wear away the victim’s self confidence and worth. They wear away their belief in their own self insights and self idea. According to Tamara Bris, emotional abuse is all about power and the control the abuser has. The abuser attains the power in the relationship by lying, manipulating and eroding all the confidence and self-esteem of the victim. 

Silent Treatment

Behaviours which can be displayed and revealed by the abuser and which can be considered as being emotionally abusive include:

• Verbal threats of physical harm
• Verbally abusing their spouse
• Depriving them of having normal activities
• Contact with other people therefore making them live in isolation of their social life

The ‘silent treatment’ is also a form of emotional abuse. The perpetrator holds power and control of when they will communicate to their spouse and blames their abusive action on their spouse.

Consequences of Emotional Abuse

Anxiety and Depression

The victim develops an uncomfortable feeling of anxiety, distress, panic caused by fear of possibly what will happen due to the intimidation. They always want to please their partner. Due to the verbal abuse, the victim progressively develops feelings of hopelessness, feeling dejected and unworthy of love. As a result, this makes them unable to perform normal activities such as eating, taking shower and even socializing

Development of Co-dependency Behaviour

The victim develops low self worth due to feeling of being devalued that they cling in a needy way to the abuser. This behaviour creates an unhealthy relationship and a certain level of dependence to the abuser. Emotionally abused victims who have already developed feeling of worthlessness, always feeling they are not good enough will tend to believe that no one else could want to be with them. Therefore, they stay in abusive relationship because they believe they have no where else to go and they fear being alone by themselves.

How to Overcome Emotional Abuse

Talk to a trained professional Counselor

Recognize signs of emotional abuse and seek the help of a professional counsellor. If the situation does not improve and it is compromising your life, they should developing an exit plan and leave.

Resist attempts to help the abuser

The victim may have on many occasions tried to talk to the abuser and their attempts may have been futile. As the abuser may always justify their behaviour and blame the victim for how they feel. Victims should therefore resist any attempts to help the abuser

Spend Time Setting boundaries and expectations

It is important that during the healing process. Abusers should set boundaries and expectations for treatment in the relationship if they plan to continue in the current relationship or if they plan to get involved in other relationships in future.