3 tips to overcoming emotional abuse: how to recognize signs of emotional abuse

Some of us have been in relationships where signs of emotional abuse are prevalent

Subtle unhealthy signs of emotional abuse

Some of us have been in relationships where signs of emotional abuse are prevalent. On the other hand, because they are subtle and don’t involve physical hurt and verbal we assume they are normal. We compare ourselves with people going through physical abuse and console ourselves that our situation is not so bad. On the contrary, emotional abuse has psychological effects which deprives you of respect as a human being. 3 tips to overcoming emotional abuse: how to recognize signs of emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse is all about power and control

Emotional Abuse includes non physical behaviour whose aim is to wear away the victim’s self confidence and worth. They wear away their belief in their own self insights and self idea. According to Tamara Bris, emotional abuse is all about power and the control the abuser has. The abuser attains the power in the relationship by lying, manipulating and eroding all the confidence and self-esteem of the victim. 

Silent Treatment

Behaviours which can be displayed and revealed by the abuser and which can be considered as being emotionally abusive include:

• Verbal threats of physical harm
• Verbally abusing their spouse
• Depriving them of having normal activities
• Contact with other people therefore making them live in isolation of their social life

The ‘silent treatment’ is also a form of emotional abuse. The perpetrator holds power and control of when they will communicate to their spouse and blames their abusive action on their spouse.

Consequences of Emotional Abuse

Anxiety and Depression

The victim develops an uncomfortable feeling of anxiety, distress, panic caused by fear of possibly what will happen due to the intimidation. They always want to please their partner. Due to the verbal abuse, the victim progressively develops feelings of hopelessness, feeling dejected and unworthy of love. As a result, this makes them unable to perform normal activities such as eating, taking shower and even socializing

Development of Co-dependency Behaviour

The victim develops low self worth due to feeling of being devalued that they cling in a needy way to the abuser. This behaviour creates an unhealthy relationship and a certain level of dependence to the abuser. Emotionally abused victims who have already developed feeling of worthlessness, always feeling they are not good enough will tend to believe that no one else could want to be with them. Therefore, they stay in abusive relationship because they believe they have no where else to go and they fear being alone by themselves.

How to Overcome Emotional Abuse

Talk to a trained professional Counselor

Recognize signs of emotional abuse and seek the help of a professional counsellor. If the situation does not improve and it is compromising your life, they should developing an exit plan and leave.

Resist attempts to help the abuser

The victim may have on many occasions tried to talk to the abuser and their attempts may have been futile. As the abuser may always justify their behaviour and blame the victim for how they feel. Victims should therefore resist any attempts to help the abuser

Spend Time Setting boundaries and expectations

It is important that during the healing process. Abusers should set boundaries and expectations for treatment in the relationship if they plan to continue in the current relationship or if they plan to get involved in other relationships in future.