10 Simple ways to recognize long term chronic patterns in a relationship

10 Simple ways to recognize long term chronic patterns in a relationship.

Habits, routines, and patterns are alluring to many of us. This might be as simple as drinking a cup of coffee every morning or showering every night. It can also be observed in interpersonal connections. Within our relationships, we readily form habits and behaviors, which can be tough to break at times.

Have you ever noticed that you constantly repeat the same patterns with your loved one or in other interactions. Where you keep going around in circles and ending up at the same place? Toxic relationship patterns can lead to stifled communication and in the worst-case scenario breakup. Early detection of these tendencies can help you speak with your partner and ideally lead to beneficial solutions.

When bringing up an issue in a relationship one of the most typical negative habits is blaming your partner.

Making your spouse feel victimized, defensive and maybe angry or resentful by pointing the finger or putting all of the responsibility on them. Begin addressing an issue by talking about your feelings if you want to change a habit like this. Instead of using “you did this” statements, use “I” statements. This can assist you in expressing your particular thoughts while also allowing your spouse to do so.

Don’t keep your emotions bottled up

To maintain favorable patterns, open communication must be maintained on a regular basis. Not only is it bad for your mental health to bottle up your emotions, it’s also bad for your physical health and your relationship, because it will eventually come out. Instead of modest, constructive dialogues these big emotional outbursts might escalate to confrontations and disagreements.

There will be no more redemption

If your engagement is always about redemption, whether it’s because your spouse keeps promising they’ll do better or because you say it. It could be a hint that it’s time to end the relationship. This pattern is frequently long-term, and it can indicate that the relationship is no longer serving you or your spouse effectively. If this is the case, try to recognize it and be prepared to have difficult conversations if required.

We have a tendency to accept destructive patterns as normal in our society, even when they are not.

These tendencies may be seen at both a generational and social level and the only way to change them is to be honest and vulnerable. If you’re worried about unfavorable patterns in your relationships, please contact us at admin@myonlinerelationshiptherapy.com and we’ll be pleased to assist you!

What are some of the telltale signs that you’re stuck in a chronic pattern in your relationship?

Force

It can be daunting when someone expresses powerful emotions and engages in excessive activity. If you feel as if someone is rushing the relationship (comes on too hard, too fast) and is compulsive about wanting to see you and be in frequent contact. Things are getting too hot.

Overprotectiveness

This is obvious when someone is so envious of you that they try to control who you hang out with and what you do with your time. Envy is a natural human emotion, but when it leads someone to manipulate or attack you, it becomes toxic. This can include them becoming irritated when you text or hang out with them in a way that makes them feel threatened, falsely accusing you of flirting or cheating, and even stalking you. Overprotectiveness or intense feelings for someone are frequently used to justify possessiveness.

Manipulation

Whenever anyone tries to exert control over your thoughts, actions, or emotions. Because manipulation might be subtle or passive-aggressive, it can be difficult to detect. If someone tries to persuade you to do things you don’t want to do, avoids you until they get their way, or attempts to affect your sentiments, you’re being manipulated.

Segregation

When you are isolated from your friends, family or other people. This behavior usually begins quietly, with someone requesting for more private time, but can quickly grow into requests that you not see particular others specifically friends and relatives. They will frequently ask you to pick between them and your friends. Demand on spending all of your time with them, or make you doubt your own judgment of your friends and family. If you’re lonely, you may begin to feel reliant on your spouse for love and financial support or acceptance.

Interference

When someone deliberately slanders your name, accomplishments or achievements. Sabotage can entail preventing you from carrying out crucial tasks. Sabotage is defined as talking behind your back, spreading rumors, or threatening to divulge critical information about you.

Condescending

When someone tries to make you feel horrible about yourself by doing and saying things that make you feel terrible about yourself. Calling you names, making nasty statements about people you care about, or criticizing you are all examples of belittling. When someone makes fun of you in a way that makes you feel awful, even if it’s meant as a joke. It’s also demeaning. Over time, you may lose faith in yourself and your abilities as a result of this.

Guilting

When somebody makes you feel like you’re accountable for their conduct or that it’s your responsibility to keep them happy. They may make you feel horrible for them by blaming you for matters that are beyond your control. This can involve threats of harming themselves or others if you don’t follow their instructions or stay with them. They may also try to persuade you to do something you don’t want to do by claiming that it’s vital to them or that if you don’t, you’ll hurt their feelings.

Unpredictability

When you are afraid, perplexed, or intimidated by someone’s extremely powerful, unpredictable reaction. When you’re around a volatile person, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells or you’ll get hurt.

They will react violently to minor events. It’s possible that your relationship with them feels like a rollercoaster ride with severe ups and downs. They may experience big mood swings overreact to minor events, or lose control by being violent, screaming, or threatening you.

Declining to Take Responsibility

When someone makes excuses for their dysfunctional behavior on a regular basis. They might place blame on you or others for their own conduct. Giving excuses based on alcohol or drug use, mental health difficulties, or previous experiences is common (like a cheating ex or divorced parents).

Unfaithfulness

When someone is disrespectful or acts in a dishonest manner on purpose. They might conduct differently around other people or reveal personal details about you to others. It also involves lying, leaving you out on purpose, being deceitful or cheating on you.